Hot off the presses.
Coz we are serious about bringing down patriarchy.
To complete our How to Tell If Your Man is Cheating series, Sisters of Resistance have compiled information on the psychological and emotional profiles of men who cheat, based upon real-life experiences collectively referred to as relationship field research. In this article, we answer the questions:
“What kind of man cheats?”
“How does the cheating show up in his emotions?”
“What are the structural inequalities that enable men to cheat?”
“What does this mean for me?”
We hope these insights will help our readers to identify cheating men, as well as reveal why, if they have been cheated on, it is not their fault.
Because single women out in the town or city defy patriarchal norms that aim to put us back in the kitchen and/or bedroom, we receive unwanted attention from some men who assume our unattached presence is an invitation. We reject this attention with decisive, declarative responses similar to the below and, if possible, quickly continue on our way.
This content has been added to the Sisters of Resistance Terminology Toolkit.
CHERPS/PICK-UP LINE: Hey! (or other shouting, yelling, hooting, calling over. Often done on the street or from a passing car.)
RESPONSE: None required.
CHERPS: Did you hear me?
RESPONSE: Yes, I did, and I’m choosing to ignore you.
CHERPS: Where are you going?
RESPONSE: Not where you’re going.
CHERPS: Are you single?
RESPONSE: None of your business.
CHERPS: What’s your name?
RESPONSE: I will not be providing you with that information today. (This was developed in response to police officers’ attempts to gather intelligence at protests but is applicable in a variety of other situations.)
CHERPS: I want to get to know you.
RESPONSE: I don’t want to get to know you.
CHERPS: I can’t be your friend?
RESPONSE: I’ve got enough friends.
CHERPS: Can I get your number?
RESPONSE: No. (Repeat as necessary.)
CHERPS: Any other question or attempt to carry on the conversation.
SOME POTENTIAL RESPONSES:
I’m in a rush. Bye!
I’ve got to be somewhere. Bye!
I’m on my way out. Bye!
(Repeat “Bye!” as necessary and walk away.)