Tag Archives: heterosexism

Free Cece McDonald

9 May

Cece McDonald, a black trans woman in Minnesota, has been in jail over a year for defending herself against a racist and homophobic attack.  She is due to be sentenced early next month.  The excerpt from the below article is an introduction to her story:

From http://www.freepress.org/departments/display/20/2012/4586

Cece McDonald is a 23 year old black trans woman who was out with friends one summer night in 2011 in Minneapolis, MN. As they passed in front of a bar, they were attacked by white people who were obviously racist and transphobic, based on a swastika tattoo and language used that night. The fight left Cece severely wounded by a glass to her face and one of the attackers dead.

The fight began when the white supremacists began yelling racial and transphobic slurs at the friends at about 12:20am. The attack became physical when one of the white supremacists put a gash in Cece’s face with a glass, damaging Cece’s saliva gland. It is believed by prosecutors that Cece then fatally stabbed one of her attackers.

Cece was charged with two counts of 2nd degree murder. Upon her arrest, Cece was denied adequate medical treatment for her wound, interrogated for hours, and put in solitary confinement. The woman who assaulted Cece was not arrested or charged. Continue reading

Handy Reference Guide to Identifying Oppressive Silencing

18 Mar

To assist you in identifying and resisting dominant and unequal power relationships in your life, we’ve compiled a list of common phrases people in historically dominant roles have been conditioned to and may use to try to silence oppressed others, particularly when they perceive their dominance to be challenged.

The quotations below were used by men against women and are thus patriarchal; however, one could expect to find similar strategic dismissals and silencing of the accounts and concerns of people of color, working class and poor people, queer and LGBTQI people, young people, fat people, disabled people, and other marginalized folks in the discourses of those who discriminate against them. The simultaneous and intersecting nature of oppression is also considered here.

These strategies, and others we may have missed, can be found in any order, but from our experiences attempts to silence us commonly go something like this:

Assert authority
Question your knowledge/judgment
Delegitimize your response
Delegitimize you
Enforce dominant point of view
Shut down debate or conversation

Continue reading

Getting Ready for V-Day

10 Feb

Sisters of Resistance held an art-making workshop tonight to prep for our V-Day campaign, to be  launched citywide on February 13th with the intention of subverting the commercialized, hetero/sexist and hypersexualized institution that is Valentine’s Day. We created feminist street art celebrating respect, consent and the female body, joining feminists worldwide in calling for the smashing of patriarchy and an end to violence against women.

Some samples of this evening’s work:

Some other slogans we came up with but didn’t show here:

LOVE ME EVERY DAY – END VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

FEMINISM IS FOR LOVERS

RESPECT: SHE ASKED FOR IT

and of course (we don’t take credit for this one):

If you’re inspired, grab some printer labels and permanent markers, organize a team if you can and get a local campaign going in your area. Feel free to use any of our slogans or come up with your own.

got some colored sharpies, oh yeah

Check out more art of cultural resistance here, and leave your thoughts about Valentine’s Day in the comments!

How to Leave a Bad Relationship, Part 2: Splitting Up – Do’s and Don’ts

21 Jun

Disentangling two lives is not an easy process, nor can we expect it to be instant.  This “Splitting Up – Do’s and Don’ts” provides some recommendations for the period of time it takes you, whether suddenly or gradually, to remove your ex from your life.

Do’s

DO articulate, clearly and honestly, the reasons why you are splitting up. You can be somewhat general (e.g. This relationship isn’t working/healthy/satisfying my needs; I don’t feel loved/respected in this relationship) but also be direct and specific enough for them to know you have made up your mind.

DO delete their number from your phone. See Part I: Cutting Communication.

If you have a smartphone, DO install an application (e.g. Mr. Number Call Blocker) to prevent them from reaching you.

DO take all their stuff (clothes, shoes, records, skateboards, etc.) out of your space (room, house, car, office). Stuff holds memories and easily invokes emotions that can interfere with the splitting-up process. It can also be used as an excuse for them to come back (see also: Alpha Male). If they don’t come back for it, inform them where you will be leaving it should they wish to pick it up (à la Fe-mail #2: Property).

DO start planning and carrying out your day-to-day activities free from them and their influence. Remember how good it feels to make decisions that make you happy, without worrying about what someone else wants to do.

DO take them off the pedestal. You might be tempted to reminisce about the way they look, smell, dress, or do certain things, but ultimately this is time wasted. And who wants to waste any more time on a bad relationship?

DO replace contacting them with an alternative. You have to learn to kick the habit. While some may use the rubber band-on-the-wrist tactic, we prefer positive reinforcement. Even deep breathing can be a positive exercise, if you consider with each breath how much better oxygen is for you than the toxic relationship you have now left.

DO acknowledge that it’s going to take you some time to extract yourself from your relationship. Be gentle with yourself. Let yourself cry, then, as best you can, get some fresh air, exercise, stretch, breathe and allow yourself to physically, mentally, and emotionally relax. Tell yourself that you will find happiness again. And that true happiness really does come from self-love.

DO put yourself first, and remember, this is for the best.

Don’ts

DON’T be vague as to your reasons why you are ending the relationship. DON’T give them false hope for getting back together in the future when this is not your intent.

DON’T let them persuade you once you have made up your mind to make the split. This may be very difficult, especially when you are dealing with sweet-talkers or other manipulative people. But trust the instincts that told you that this was not working, and be firm.

DON’T let them make you feel guilty or bad for splitting up with them. They do not deserve more of your time, attention or care. They are not worth it.

DON’T blame yourself. As much as you may be tempted to reminisce on your ex’s good qualities during this time, you may also be inclined to forget your own. Resist this temptation as much as you can. If anything, reflect on the ways they made you feel low, inadequate, or unloved. Then tell yourself why you deserve better next time. And there will be a next time.

DON’T overdo it on the coping mechanisms. Whether it’s running, shopping, food, alcohol, ganja or another substance, some things can make us feel good temporarily but are shit when overdone or in the long run. If you know or suspect you have a problem, help is available.

DON’T contact them, or respond to them reaching out to you. Use the strategies we have outlined, like the Par List, to keep yourself from speaking to them. We understand you may slip up. But adherence to the guidelines ensures the greatest chance of success.

DON’T meet up with them and don’t make plans together. This may be extremely difficult, especially if you have friends, groups, and children in common. But the more you see your ex on a romantic basis (no make-up sex!), the harder it will be for them to stay your ex and the longer it will take for you to get over them.

DON’T tie your sense of self-worth to this one relationship. Just because you are not with your ex anymore doesn’t mean you are not desirable and/or lovable. You are lovable. You are so lovable, in fact, that you should show yourself some love by ending this bad relationship once and for all.

Read on – Part 3: Moving On

Back to Part I: Cutting Communication

Sisters of Resistance Terminology Toolkit

12 Jun

 

Because we form our thoughts through language, in order to envisage and build a new world, we need to develop a new vocabulary. Sisters of Resistance have begun this process by collecting  our terminology into this resource, covering four areas: vocabulary, useful phrases, acronyms and translations, for use in challenging patriarchy and putting feminism into practice in your daily life. Continue reading