Fe-mail #2: Property

14 Apr

Sista Resista was in a sort of ‘relationship’ with J for over six months and has been regrettably seeing him now for nearly a year. He was inconsiderate, unreliable and selfish, a typical Alpha Male. He left Sista waiting around for him for hours/days; she never knew if/when he was really coming round when he said he was. This was one of the many ways he controlled her and the entire relationship.

He would always leave items of clothing in the house and without her knowledge he left a jacket after they had split up and she thought she had given him back all his stuff. As he had left it without her knowledge, when he asked for it (a pretence to come round) she said she didn’t have it.

Recently she found the jacket and texted him after a month of not talking. His response triggered the negative emotions he caused her during the relationship and she decided she no longer wanted to see him to give him the jacket back. He responded to this decision by saying he would “kick down [her] door” and by repeatedly calling her a “fucking idiot” and asking if she is “fucking sick in the head” among numerous other threats and insults.

This is the last exchange (by text):

J: Scorn!!! Look at your 1 st txt your a joker can’t believe you tried it. My property isn’t something you should be trying to use as some tool. Never had that kind of shit from no one so please dont try be the 1 st, dont make sense. So would like to know when I can collect please coz I did ask from time now. If not let me know so can sort something.

SR: I am not using it as a ‘tool.’ Your vague response that you would holla when your about at some undetermined point in the future triggered negative emotions and brought back sad memories of me waiting around for you in the past. A subject weve spoke about alot. And about which you have agreed your behaviour has been inconsiderate and unfair. Following the threats, aggression and verbal abuse you subjected me to on the phone, I am uncomfortable meeting you. But in the interests of returning your property I will try to arrange something with my housemate or downstairs neighbour.

3 Responses to “Fe-mail #2: Property”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Fe-mail #4 Balance « sisters of resistance - June 12, 2011

    […] same “J” described in Fe-mail #2 Property asks a Sista to buy him a second copy of CD he already has; when she asks why he needs two copies […]

  2. How to Leave a Bad Relationship, Part 2: Splitting Up – Do’s and Don’ts « sisters of resistance - June 21, 2011

    […] DO take all their stuff (clothes, shoes, records, skateboards, etc.) out of your space (room, house, car, office). Stuff holds memories and easily invokes emotions that can interfere with the splitting-up process. It can also be used as an excuse for them to come back (see also: Alpha Male). If they don’t come back for it inform them where you will be leaving it should they wish to pick it up (à la Fe-mail #2: Property). […]

  3. Sexism is Driving Me Mad. Literally. « sisters of resistance - June 28, 2011

    […] him sex when he appeared uninvited and very drunk at my house at 3am. Most recently, I have had a ‘relationship’ with a man whose extreme insensitivity and emotional manipulation compounded my lack of self-esteem […]

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